I recently wrote a blog talking about what motivates us. But what defines us? We all have struggles. Do we use them to make us stronger, more empathetic, and make our lives richer? Or do we let them define us as a victim of circumstance?
Here is a simple analogy. How many times have you forgotten somebody’s name but could describe something about them? When we do that, we latch onto very unique characteristics about that person. If someone were to have to describe you right now, without saying your name, what would they say?
In high school, I struggled with an eating disorder. Instead of becoming “that girl with anorexia,” I chose to become that girl who went on to college and got her degree. I chose to become that girl who went on to become a mom, wife and teacher. There is a difference. Very few people know about my struggle with an eating disorder because I haven’t allowed it to become part of my identity. Instead, I immersed myself in learning how to take a dysfunctional relationship with food and weight and turn it into something positive. As a mom, wife, and teacher, I now advocate for healthy lifestyle habits and positive body image. Our outlook, actions, and purpose all work together to define us. The challenge becomes to not let our negative reactions become part of that equation.
Let’s take my friend, Tanner, as another example. Tanner was born with Down Syndrome. Tanner knows that. Tanner can tell you that. But it doesn’t define Tanner. What defines Tanner is his sense of humor, his love for music, his ability to make anyone’s day, and keep life simple!
When Tanner puts his mind to something, he usually accomplishes it. As of now, he is attending Carroll College, a prestigious private college in his hometown. That has been Tanner’s goal through highschool and he achieved it. But he doesn’t stop there. He keeps pushing himself because he wants to be that boy who goes to college, who plays basketball on the Special Olympics basketball team, who works at McKenzie River. Not simply the boy with Down Syndrome. In fact, I’ve become so used to Tanner being a friend, that I often don’t see the Down Syndrome and am certain nobody else does either. When he struggles with his speech, I wonder if I need to let his audience know he has Down Syndrome because, like me, I’m sure they don’t see it. How rich our lives become when we see past what could be a barrier, and see the possibilities. The possibilities should define us.
Tanner is also my mentor when it comes to keeping life SIMPLE. He reminds me that when life gets complicated, it’s okay to sing like nobody’s listening, dance like nobody’s watching, and love without judgement. It has been a journey for me to get to SIMPLE, and I’m not all the way there, yet. But I am grateful for every experience and person along the way who has reminded me, life is so much richer and full of promise when we keep things SIMPLE and let our possibilities shine.
So, my challenge to you is this: When you get ready to react to something negatively, think about how you want to be defined as a result of that moment. Is it of possibilities and promise or as a victim of circumstance?
These are my opinions and not meant to replace professional advice or treatment.If you like this post and want to read more like it, please like it, share it, and subscribe to my blog.