“I always get where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been.” These simple, yet profound words were spoken by none other than Winnie the Pooh. At first thought, this may seem like a very elementary statement, but let’s think about it a little more. It seems to beg the question, are we going to stay where we are or are we going to start walking away from where we’ve been? Are we just going to be content with where we are, or are we going to look for ways to become something better? This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with where we are. But growth is such a gift! It could be spiritual, physical, or intellectual. But it is a gift that gives back over and over when we take the time to actively engage with our growth journey. All it takes to start is one small step away from where we’ve been.
During this social isolation, I’ve made time to listen to podcasts of very successful women, however, I think the same conversations could have been held with men. Hearing them talk candidly about their path to success, their triumphs, their failures, their realities, has been soul searching for me. It has also revealed some commonalities for me – things that each of these women saw as their reality and then used to get to where they wanted to go. I am going to try and avoid using their names so as to keep this thought process as unbiased as possible, and make it more personal. Here’s what I gleaned from them:
First, we need to understand and recognize where we are, and then realistically look at where we want to go. It is easy to look on other’s lives or dream about what we would like to be, but if we don’t know where we are now, we can’t determine the path to get to where we want to go. Also, in looking to where we want to go, using social media or images created by the media which are most likely altered and modified, is totally unrealistic. We need to set our sights on something real, something that comes from deep inside us: a purpose or a cause, not an image. The shortest path between 2 points is a straight line, so recognizing where those 2 points are is essential in our journey. It doesn’t mean our path won’t meander, but if we don’t know where to start, it will be difficult to get to where we want to be.
Here’s an example: when I started to practice yoga, I followed yogi’s on IG that were beyond the typical yogi. As they contorted their bodies into positions that didn’t even seem physically possible (and probably aren’t for 99% of the population), I wondered how I could get there. I would go to the little local gym and hide in the exercise room with the lights off and my pinterest page open up to traditional poses. I worked through these on my own and in my own way, which was a comfortable start, but I realized I really wasn’t going anywhere. So I started to read and research more, go to yoga classes and retreats, watch videos and listen to other yogis talk. I learned then that where I was wanting to go wasn’t realistic, even if I knew where I was. I started to embrace the word “practice.” I started to view what I was doing as a journey and not a destination. I found my new goal and it wasn’t the IG yogi. It wasn’t just an image. It was someone and someplace inside me. I still follow those yogis on IG and admire their grace and flexibility, but that is no longer my goal. My goal is now internal and so much more fulfilling. It’s not about striving to be someone in a photograph, but about growing in practice and confidence with my yoga.
The second is honesty. And I don’t mean being an honest person and always telling the truth. Their honesty was in being honest with who they are and where they are. These women were all criticized, tested and questioned along their journey, and still are, but they have stayed true to their purpose by staying focused on where they were and where they want to go. The nay-sayers want to distract us, distort our vision and make us forget where we are trying to go. Nothing would make them happier than getting us off our target. Revisiting where we were and where we want to go and staying true to that path will help us stay focused on our convictions. It will also help us not succumb to emotional lashings that we may encounter as people find reason to fault our journey. Setting aside emotion and not letting it consume us will help us stay focused on our path. Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for emotion and we certainly need to accept it, but we don’t need to become a victim to it, but rather a survivor of our purpose.
Finally, these women were all “real” about the world around them and about themselves. They talked candidly about how the goal of so many women has become to stay young. But I loved the perspective of one of these brilliant women. She used this analogy: When we were 20, did we look back at our 10 year old selves and say, “Wow! I wish I were still 10.” No, we embraced 20 and all that it meant to us. So why wouldn’t we bring that same mind-set to our lives at any age we are? I’m 50, so instead of looking back at who I was at 40, why not think about all that 50 can hold for me and embrace that? I’ve learned a lot in the last 10 years, so I certainly don’t want to give that up! This also includes the need some feel to cling to their youth through botox or other means. My daughter will sometimes take candid pictures of me and then she’ll say, “Mom, I know you aren’t going to like this picture because it shows your wrinkles, but I love it because it shows how happy you are.” Wow! That speaks volumes!! My daughter would rather see my happiness through my wrinkles than see a wrinkle-free face without emotion.
Thinking back to Pooh’s statement, we can’t get to where we want to go if we cling to the things that are stifling our growth. Most likely, that includes fear of what others will think if we put ourselves out there; challenge ourselves to be better. Fear can hinder us or motivate us; it can make us a victim or a survivor. I choose to be motivated by it to be better than I was yesterday and embrace what I have accomplished rather than cling to my youth or naivety.
If you enjoyed this post and want to read others like it, please subscribe to my website. Also, here is another post you may find helpful from my website:
https://www.simplestepstoahealthylife.com/will-a-dose-of-gratitude-make-us-healthier/