“Stillness is not the absence or negation of energy, life, or movement. Stillness is dynamic. It is unconflicted movement, life in harmony with itself, skill in action.” Erich Shiffmann
Wow! These words come from the very first page of Shiffmann’s book, “The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness,” and, I have to admit, brought me up short when I read them. Have we been confusing being motionless with stillness? Have we adopted binging on Netflix on the couch as a way to find stillness, only to be left feeling empty and sluggish? Think about it – how many of us, after hanging out on the couch for a spell, mostly motionless, feel totally refreshed and recharged? Can’t say that I do. I’m not saying there aren’t days where that is exactly what we need, but maybe when we think that’s what we need, we actually need to be seeking stillness.
So, what is stillness? Earlier in this chapter, Shiffmann uses the illustration of a spinning top, spinning so fast it looks motionless, as opposed to a top that is spinning off-kilter and wobbly. The first top is in complete harmony with its own elements and everything around it. There is effort, energy, and harmony. The latter top is not. A simple yet effective picture of the power in stillness.
Let’s break this down further.
I’ve been referring to this analogy in my classes as we’ve worked on some basic yoga poses. I’ll use Warrior II, just as an example, not a yoga lesson. Starting with the feet, we balance the weight equally in both feet, lift the arches, then balance the weight evenly on the 3 points of the foot. Moving up the leg, the front knee is in a lunge and in alignment with the front foot, all while keeping the weight even in the foot. Back leg is straight with the quad and knee engaged, all while keeping the weight even in the foot. The pelvis is neutral with the tail bone dropping towards the mat, the navel tucked in toward the spine, and the low back neutral. Arms are raised with biceps and forearms open and palms closed, shoulders relaxed. Our gaze is relaxed and past our front hand. We are still, but certainly not motionless. Every part of our being is engaged, yet there is no movement. The opposing forces are brought into harmony to create stillness. It doesn’t mean friction and stress don’t exist. We use the friction of the mat to keep the feet still and gravity to center our pose. They are utilized in a way that creates positive harmony.
Let’s apply this to our daily life. All of us encounter stress, friction, hardship and conflict almost daily. It’s life! Avoiding it would mean avoiding living, and we must live. By bringing awareness to the situations and recognizing them for what they are, we can begin to acknowledge that they are present and real, but can be used to bring stillness into our life. I spent so many years trying to change the perspectives of others I didn’t agree with or prove a point thinking my way had to be the better way. I wasted a lot of time feeling frustrated and exasperated which did nothing to help bring stillness. I’m not going to lie, I’m still working on it, but now recognize that other people’s perspectives are theirs to own, as are mine, and recognize that their perspective probably brings about a positive result that wouldn’t come from my thought process. It creates an eclectic society which, in turn, creates a much richer and more colorful culture.
In the book, “The Giver” by Lois Lowry, pain, strife and joy were taken away to create a sameness. Emotions were stifled as a society was created that was equal, but also void of color, creativity, personality, and zest. The society became almost lifeless other than their physical being. Robotic. By all intents and purposes, it would have seemed that a stillness or harmony of society would have resulted from this. Instead, it was a society void of any life. In other words, we need the friction, the emotions, the stress, and strife, to help us somehow find that inner harmony and stillness. Without it, we are just a being – lifeless and emotionless inside. That fire in our belly is a good fire to have.
Don’t get me wrong, there can be too much toxicity in the stress and conflict of daily life which can also throw our top off kilter. If we were to sling mud at the spinning top or kick it or drop something on it, it would cease to spin in the perfect harmony of stillness. It would become lopsided and wobbly and possibly stop spinning altogether as it skidded across the floor. There is a time when the extraneous stresses of life need to be abandoned or discarded. It may be physically removing ourselves from a situation or relationship, or removing things in our life that bring on the extra stress. Sounds easy enough, right? But I fear that so many in our current world have become “addicted” (for lack of a better word) to trying to keep their top spinning in perfect harmony while juggling all the other rubbish thrown at them. It takes an incredible amount of strength, energy, and constant refocusing and juggling to do so – all of which could be put to better use finding that harmony. How many things in our lives have we chosen to keep because we are somehow drawn to the conflict they create? I don’t think this is a conscious thought process at all. But somewhere down deep, we enjoy the conflict and the “story” it gives us to share with others.
“Calm is a super power.” Brene Brown
My intention lately is to live by this quote by Brene Brown which resonates with me when I want the stress, conflict and friction part of my day to become the focal point rather than the stillness or calm. The stresses of the day certainly make for more interesting conversation, and we do have to process them, that’s for sure. But allowing ourselves to process them and then bring them into harmony with stillness is what can create the power of calm.
“Calm is an intention. Do we want to infect people with more anxiety, or heal ourselves and the people around us with calm? As the psychologist and writer Harriet Lerner says, ‘Anxiety is contagious. Intensity and reactivity only breed more of the same. Calm is also contagious. Nothing is more important than getting a grip on your own reactivity.” Brene Brown
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