I’ve asked myself this question so many times, especially when I see somebody experiencing yoga for the first time. I often marvel at how everything has transpired on this journey and brought me to where I am today. A very good and effective way to achieve what you want is to have a clear vision, set goals to achieve that vision, then go for it! Okay, maybe that’s a little simplistic, but you get the point. I did none of those, and so, according to successful practices, I shouldn’t be successful at what I’m doing. But somehow, the stars aligned, my family and circle of friends surrounded me, as did people I didn’t even know, and here I am. This isn’t to say I haven’t had some vision and some goals, but they have been so fluid that it’s a wonder I got anywhere at all.
The Beginning
But I digress. How did I get here? I’ll never forget my first yoga class. After months of contemplating and looking up yoga poses on youtube, practicing on my own, I finally attended my first yoga class. It was a small class and the teacher did a fantastic job of taking us through several yoga poses. At one point in the class, she made the comment, “We’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg with yoga. This is such a small part of it.” I didn’t see it that way. I left class feeling pretty accomplished and that this yoga thing wasn’t such a big deal after all. I mean, I had done every yoga pose in the class hadn’t I? Little did I know, that was only the first baby step into what was to become an amazing journey! I’ve also discovered what she meant by “tip of the iceberg.” Every time I learn something new, I realize how little I still know about yoga. Students and workshop or retreat participants will ask me questions that make me dive deeper into my practice, my teaching, and I love it! I don’t know everything and always love questions and challenges that make me explore this world even more.
So why did I start? Why did I go to that first class? Honestly, it was so I could keep running. I knew it would help my knees and that was my only motive. I was hoping to improve or at least maintain joint health so I could keep running which, at that time, was my first love. Then I started seeing more benefits of yoga. Like, who knew how important it is and how good it feels to create space for our internal organs, or our lymph nodes? Who knew how amazing it felt to slow down our nervous system during savasana and take time to set an intention or be grateful? And twists?! My classes all know how much I love twisting!
This was where I started. After a year or so, my yoga teacher asked me to attend a yoga retreat with her. I jumped at the chance! My first yoga retreat was humbling, but I also learned a lot. It was an interesting experience, and, quite honestly, I’m glad it wasn’t my first experience with yoga. I found it a little intimidating, but also gained a wealth of knowledge. As far as content, it was superb! As for personal connections and time for reflection, I felt a little empty. As I started to plan my own yoga retreats years later, that feeling of disconnect and from the others during a yoga retreat would play heavily into how I now plan my own yoga retreats. Stay tuned for that!
It was at my 2nd yoga retreat with the same said teacher and yoga instructors that I had a small revelation. I wonder if I could teach yoga? I hesitantly mentioned it to my yoga teacher who was the one that had once again invited me to the retreat. My first thought was that she might view me as trying to be competitive or taking over what she was already doing. But that wasn’t the response I got at all. In fact, her response surprised me! “I was hoping you would say that! I think you would make a great yoga teacher!” Boy, did that catch me off guard, and yet another very valuable lesson about yoga began. There is more camaraderie and bonding, personal growth and reflection, being present and mindful than there will ever be competition. In fact, yoga doesn’t serve us well when we come to it with the mindset of being competitive. I continue to find this true. When 2 yogis meet for the first time, there’s very little if any feeling of competitiveness. It is more of an instant bond.
Becoming a yoga instructor
So started my journey to become a yoga instructor. Following the “rule book” that I had made up in my mind, I figured I would get some training and then start a class. Very wisely, my yoga teacher told me to look into teaching at a local health club to start so I could get the feel for teaching and how to lead a class. Hmmm, okay. Not what I expected, but I figured I had nowhere else to start so why not?
I set up a time to speak with a manager at Capital City Health Club in Helena and spent a lot of time worrying that I was probably too old and she was going to think I was crazy to think I could start teaching fitness classes at my age. After all, aren’t all fitness instructors young? That wasn’t her response at all. She wisely gave me some advice about certifications that are the most thorough and versatile and suggestions of which one’s to look into. The one I chose to pursue was the A.C.E (American Council on Exercise) certification.
The studying window was about 3 months with a final exam at a secure testing site at the end. The studying was intense and nothing like I expected. So much psychology, how to meet students with varying needs in a class, how to progress and regress activities, financial set up, insurance, liability, kinesiology and anatomy. . .and so the list goes! I drove to Great Falls to take my exam and then waited. Fortunately and with a huge sigh of relief, I passed it on my first attempt.
Armed with my yoga mat and certificate, I was ready to go! I subbed for some classes, started teaching some classes at my school for my colleagues, and got my feet wet. I then acquired my own class at the club and had my first experience learning what it meant to build your own following. Okay, this was one part of the certification process they didn’t go into. Blindly, I went in thinking if I knew how to do most yoga poses well, my classes would be successful and people would come. After holding several classes with fluctuating attendance, I started to learn the importance of creating relationships with my students; developing a trust that I had their best interest in mind when I taught. I’ve since learned that most people don’t come because they think I’m good at yoga. They come because of how I make them feel during a yoga class. Am I attuned to their needs? Do I understand what might be more challenging for them? Do I listen to them? Do I appreciate them as a person? Do I provide accommodations for them?
Establishing Who I Am
Another important lesson I learned during this time came from a gentleman who attended a class I was subbing. In the beginning, I would introduce myself and then apologize because I was new to this. After class, this gentleman came up and said, “You know what you did wrong? You didn’t sell yourself. You focused on the fact you were new. You need to sell yourself. You did just fine! Nobody knows if you’re new or not and it doesn’t matter. Just sell yourself!” That has proven to be an incredibly valuable lesson over and over. I laugh at myself many times for sure, but I don’t apologize for who I am as a yoga teacher. This is me, take it or leave it.
I also started to dabble in the blogging world at this time. As per my past tendencies, I dove right in, not having a clue what I was doing! After floundering around in that space for a bit, a high school friend reached out after seeing what I was doing and kindly asked if I needed help. Yes! Yes, I did! Both he and his wife offered more support, help, advice, and direction than I deserved or ever could have afforded! That friendship is still going strong today and I appreciate them and their support more than they will ever know. My blog became the foundation of my website which has proven so invaluable! I would not be here without it!
I was just getting my feet under me, feeling like I was finding who I was as a teacher and not trying to follow some template of what I thought I was supposed to be, when COVID hit. I did what everybody else did and tried to pivot to virtual. Although I had dabbled in the virtual space by creating some Youtube videos, I wasn’t quite ready for this completely virtual world. During this time, many of us at Capital City Health Club would go to the club to teach our classes, but our audience was completely virtual. For me, it was Facebook Live. It got us through, but I for one didn’t ever get totally accustomed to it. There’s something about seeing your student’s faces, watching them move in and out of postures, that helps direct your teaching and cues. I missed that, I missed their energy, and I missed interacting with them. Once all the COVID restrictions were lifted, I was so excited to go teach my first in-person class again! I sped to the health club in anticipation of seeing everyone again and enjoying all the things about teaching in person I had missed. However, that wasn’t the case. So many were still hesitant and leary of being around others. So once again, the fluctuating attendance weighed heavily. I lost some of my passion during this time and decided to pull back from teaching at the club.
Building my Business
However, the little class I had first started in at Montana City Fitness was in need of a teacher. The teacher I had practiced under had been gone and several others had cycled through. I approached the owner about teaching that little group again and started teaching 1 night a week. Most nights we had 4, but sometimes we had up to 8 or 9. The size of the room was an issue, though, and as the class started to slowly grow, it was obvious we weren’t going to fit in this space anymore. As luck would have it, a new massage and wellness space was opening up next door and word on the street was that the new owner wanted to have yoga classes there.
I met with the new owner who came from out of state and brought some new and interesting views on wellness, especially in the area of outdoor or mountain wellness. It seemed our visions clicked right away! My yoga was and probably always will be geared towards staying active and mobile which aligned with his massage business and beliefs. We even started brainstorming ideas for retreats! If there was one goal I had always had, it was to someday co-host or facilitate a yoga retreat. While his ideas were more grandiose and focused on corporate America, bringing in big business CEOs and business class participants for a full Montana retreat experience, mine was more on a local, personal retreat. However, I clung to the idea that we could meet in the middle and make something work.
This new space allowed for more participants and so my classes immediately grew as did the number of classes I taught. I went from 1 class per week to 3 classes per week while at this location. I was also able to host several 3 hour workshops which gave me a taste of what a retreat might be like. We even held a few Friday night yoga classes with finger foods and drinks after. I remember one night very fondly when several of us sat around on our yoga blocks for a couple of hours after the yoga class, sharing stories, sharing successes and challenges, and creating new friendships. It was a special night.
At this particular facility, the idea of family or tribe was important and I learned how important that was in building a yoga family. We focused on togetherness, unity, and harmony as well as accepting and respecting differences. The atmosphere was perfect for yoga including a diffuser, twinkling lights, and a beautiful rustic decor.
I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point, things started to shift between the owner and me. Things didn’t seem right and it was affecting my teaching as well as the feeling in the yoga classes. There was tension. No more talk of retreats. No more diffuser despite students requesting it. It was the owner’s and he had a sudden repulsion to it. Things that maybe don’t seem like a big deal, but they definitely had an impact. There were other little things that became rifts, but I won’t go into detail. It became very evident this partnership wasn’t working. Once the owner and I agreed that this was no longer a compatible partnership, I decided to take some time off and rethink what I was doing and why I was doing it. Maybe my dream had come to an end and I could just quietly walk away.
It became very evident to me that the universe had something else in mind, though. On the same day ties were severed in that location, I had 2 calls from local gym owners wanting me to bring my yoga classes to their facilities. Torn with what to do, but realizing there was a need and desire to have yoga classes in the community, I opted to move to a private gym that had ample space and plenty of room for me to store what had now become quite a warehouse of yoga props I had slowly been purchasing and acquiring over my teaching tenure.
It’s funny what you learn as you grow in this space. Ample space and storage were so important to me and still are! This gym had both and the owner of the gym had so much business knowledge as well as phenomenal fitness knowledge! I learned so much and am grateful for all the lessons I learned in that facility. However, the universe would align again and a space that every yogi dreams of teaching in became available. Well, maybe it didn’t happen quite that fast. It took many months of patience, communication, and waiting for the space I am in now, my dream space, to open up. What a blessing this space is! Everything I have always wanted! Space, room for storage, twinkling lights, my own diffuser that I can control, beautiful atmosphere, parking. . . the whole package! Some days I can’t believe I got so lucky! Again, a move would show an uptick in interest, bigger classes, more students, and my latest step (which was scary but exciting), of adding more classes to the schedule as well as another teacher! Wow! How did I get here? I still can’t comprehend it all some days.
But back to the retreats – I’m not sure how the conversation or idea started. I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember deciding I either had to act on my dream of hosting one, or live with regret that I never tried. The feeling was that strong! I knew that if I didn’t at least try to host one, I would regret it. It was a strong, strong determination of mine!
I won’t go into detail about the planning and thought process of my retreats, but I can share how humbling and incredibly rewarding they have been! I still sometimes think they are just a dream! The miles people have traveled to attend from around all over the Northwest, Canada, and most recently, France, the comments and feedback they have provided, and the relationships and friendships that have started because of them will forever be worth it! I mentioned at the beginning that the first yoga retreats I attended would guide how I set up mine. The most important thing to me is that everyone feels welcomed, that they belong, and that they can create new friendships or bonds with others or not. The invitation is open to be as social as one would like or as little. There is no judgment. It’s a safe space to rejuvenate, to heal, to restore, and to find balance. Even for me!
I still don’t know for sure how I got here. There have definitely been challenges and I have grown so much as a person because of them. But the successes far outweigh the challenges and those are what fuel me and inspire me to put my best foot forward every day for my students. I continually challenge myself to learn more about yoga, how to create a safe and welcoming environment for everyone so yoga can work its magic, and let the universe take care of the rest. What else can I say?
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Namaste