Healing from within: trauma and yoga

Wow! Just wow! When I decided to do a deeper dive into trauma, and more specifically, the role of yoga in helping with trauma, I had no idea the world I would unfold. I’m still far from a trauma expert, and even further from being a trauma informed yoga instructor. But I am feeling more comfortable in this space.

I started this journey reading the book The Body Keeps Score by Bessell van der Kolk. While I was reading this book, my mom, who is living with dementia, fell and broke her hip. As I spent the better part of 2 weeks with her, I noticed that the physical therapy she was given to do aligned with what I was reading in the book regarding breathing and connecting to the body. I’ll go into that more later.  At about this time, I also hosted a workshop for caregivers. One of the activities of the day was self-care for caregivers, put on by Montana State University Extension. Guess what we did? We taught participants how to take time to just breathe, nice deep breaths.

“So what?” you’re probably thinking. Breathing and breathwork have been around forever. True.  They have. But until now, I didn’t even begin to understand the deep and profound effect it has on trauma survivors as well as all of us. Let’s go back to my mom. She has dementia. She is at the stage in the disease where she doesn’t really know what the proper or appropriate response is to a question or conversation. Yet, when we started off her physical therapy by placing one hand on our hearts and one hand on our tummies, taking several deep breaths in and out, mom, without fail, always said, “Oh that feels so good.” Now trust me, she wasn’t saying that about the rest of her exercises. She has no prior knowledge to call on to make that comment. To me, that says something.

As MSU professor Dan Koltz, Ph.D works with participants at our workshops on self care, he talks about how many times a day we hold our breath without even realizing it. The activity he has created to help with this sounds very simple, but I have seen him do it several times and each time the effect is the same. He starts by having everyone make a glitter jar. Yep, you read that right. Each person chooses their own color of glitter and how much they want to put in their jar. There is some laughter and giggling as participants go through the process of making the jar, but then the exercise begins and the energy in the room changes. As everyone is shaking their glitter jar, Dr. Koltz asks them to think about their happy place. To go there in their minds.  Once that visual is in place, everyone sets their glitter jar down, and for the amount of time it takes the glitter to settle, we all just breathe. Nice, deep breaths. Not the forceful kind that is sometimes associated with breathwork. But deep breaths into the belly.  Some close their eyes, others just watch the glitter, and as it settles (it takes anywhere from 3 – 5 minutes), the calm that blankets the room is undeniable.  

In my yoga classes, I would refer to breathing, and we would take deep breaths, which always felt good, but I didn’t know why.  Nor did I understand how impactful those breaths can be. I continued my journey to learn more about the trauma healing and yoga connection by signing up for a Restorative Yoga Training. As one would expect, breathing was referred to frequently. The breathing practice that has been the most profound for me is called the 3D breath. The cues for this type of breathing include thinking of your breath as traveling in all directions as it enters the body. As you inhale, feel the breath branch out into your rib cage, your belly, down your arms and into your fingertips, down each leg into each toe, and spiral around the spine.  Then imagine it coming back up again on the exhale, and beginning again on the next inhale.  

As it turns out, the power is in the exhale. Funny to think we don’t exhale long enough and we don’t embrace the power of the exhale enough. The cue I often use is to exhale completely before taking the next inhale.  But more than that, I’m learning about the pause at the bottom of the exhale, which may be just a brief moment, but everyone has it. Embracing that pause, then moving on to the next inhale can bring more power to the breath. So much is released in the exhale – negative energy, baggage from the day, and all that is not serving us. So simple yet so profound.

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I teach one restorative yoga class a month and have always been humored by the fact that it is not only my largest class, but the one everyone arrives for extra early, laden with blankets, warm and comfy clothes, and bolsters if they have them. I arrive with sand bags, eye pillows, straps, and more bolsters. As a student, I always enjoyed restorative classes, and as a teacher, I hoped the same would hold true for my students. It must be, given the popularity of the class. But I didn’t know why. I just observed it and felt it. I knew how to set up a restorative class logistically, and let the power of yoga take over, but didn’t know, and maybe still don’t understand all, that is transpiring during that time. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I have seen and felt the effect enough to be satisfied with that.

The father of restorative yoga is B.K.S. Iyengar. Coincidentally, that was the first form of yoga I was drawn to due to its alignment and precision techniques. Iyengar was a sickly child who struggled with many illnesses. He developed Iyengar yoga as a way to bring the body into a space where it could start the healing process, not to be confused with curing.  By using props for support and creating space within the body, healing will begin to occur.  In my own experience, I have found that this healing process begins on the mat, but the effects of restorative yoga carry through off the mat as well.

So how does this all relate to trauma and healing. I have learned that the body is very masterful at protecting us from devastating experiences. Whether it’s war, an automobile crash, sexual assault, or physical or verbal abuse, our bodies are incredibly adept at protecting us in the moment.  However, the body doesn’t always know or recognize how to release the trauma and often winds up storing it in the body.  Bessell talks about the importance of creating the mind/body connection so that the body can begin to recognize pain, hurt, and suffering, and let it go so the healing process can begin. In his work, he has found that victims of trauma, when experiencing triggers or flashbacks, lose the ability to recognize there is an end to the pain.  It is as if it is happening in real time all over again with no sense of the pain ending. 

The yoga experience helps us delve into spaces we have maybe protected, don’t want to expose due to pain, or have left void thinking it would hurt too much to explore. However, when we begin to explore connecting our mind to our body in any yoga class, we begin to find that stored up trauma and release it, noticing the big relief we feel when we have done so. We also develop the sense that there is an end to an experience and in this case, a yoga posture or pose. In yoga, the teacher creates a safe space that allows this to happen. Although this can seem like a very serious and ultra focused task, it doesn’t have to be.  One person described my yoga as playful, because we do laugh a lot. In fact, I encourage it because I have found it helps people relax and not become so caught up in “perfecting” the pose. I wondered if this was a paradox to what yoga is all about, until I heard Bessell talk about the effect of feeling playful in our bodies. That was good enough for me!  If feeling playful in yoga allows us to be playful in our bodies and not fear them or the feelings that are attached, then why not?

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When I began my yoga journey, I was looking for something that would help me with joint health so that I could continue to run and do other activities I enjoyed. What I didn’t know was where the journey would take me. Realizing the strength of both mind and body that develops in yoga has helped me dive into it deeper. The more I learn about yoga, the more I realize I don’t know. But I do know it is a community that fills me.  It’s a time and space that fulfills an inner need I have to be restored and to restore others. It’s taught me more about the nervous system, the power of breath, and the mind body connection. It has enhanced relationships I already have and developed new ones.  

There’s so much more to learn and in no way do I claim to be an expert. In fact, trying to put my thoughts, insights and revelations on paper has felt awkward as it is something so much more profound than I can describe. But I hope it has piqued your interest to do your own deep dive. Namaste

This article is not intended as medical or psychological advice.  All of the opinions expressed are mine.