Are We a Culture Addicted to Busyness?

“The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.”

Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Disclaimer:  This article is strictly my opinion and not intended to take the place of professional counseling or other professional advice. It is not research based, but instead, based on life-long experiences, reflections and observations of a culture I see getting pulled into this abyss of busyness rather than relationships, reflection, and overall well-being.

We have created a culture that accepts and condones addiction to busyiness; and sadly, many people are buying into this addiction.  In fact, it is acceptable and expected to respond to other’s inquiries about how we’ve been by saying, “Busy!” What is busyness? It’s certainly not business.  We all have business that needs to be attended to. So what is the difference between getting our business done and being addicted to busyiness? What are we saying when we say we are so busy?  How do we stop buying into this crazy addiction that seems to be making us feel more isolated and less fulfilled?  

Busyness is considered an addiction.  Maybe not in the same realm as drugs or other substances, but in habit for sure.  Thus, it has the same impact on our life that any addiction can have. In essence, as with any addiction, we keep going back to it hoping we feel some fulfillment, some joy, some satisfaction, and a sense of self worth.  However, it becomes an endless cycle – an endless run on the hamster wheel. So, how do we know if we are stuck in this hamster wheel, and how do we get out of it?

Here are some questions to ask yourself and some tips to use if you do find yourself in this hopeless cycle of busyness:

1. Does “downtime” make you uncomfortable?

Downtime is a time when we have nothing planned.  There is no list dictating what should be done.  This time, although in appearance may seem unproductive, is when we develop our creative mind.  Downtime is essential for our imagination.  It is generally a time when we read, hypothesize about what ifs, problem solve, or start to imagine our future, future adventures, future endeavors, or possibilities.  

I often reflect on the musings of Anne from the book Anne of Green Gables.  She often describes someone who is stuck in their ways or comes across as harsh or unyielding as “. . . ‘hav(ing) no scope of imagination.”  I think this becomes more true the busier we get!  Our time to imagine and be creative dwindles down to almost nothing. In fact, most of us who use downtime to feed our creative mind, find we feel more energized and positive overall ; and conversely, lethargic and more downtrodden when we don’t get that time.    

“It’s delightful when your imaginations come true, isn’t it?”-  LM Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

2. Do you find yourself pacing or looking for a task or small job to do when you have nothing else to do? Or worse yet, scrolling mindlessly through social media?

 If we have always used lists, planners, or schedules to plan our time, it may be hard to tap into our creative mind.  NOTE: Watching TV, a movie, scrolling through social media, etc. are not conducive to developing our imagination and should be kept to a minimum or eliminated altogether during.  They don’t stimulate the part of the brain we want to develop. Instead, use this time to imagine, create, read, or practice mindful breathing or meditation. Coloring can also be used to relax the mind and tap into the creative side.  If you are not used to this kind of downtime, start slow. The first try may be 10 minutes, then add 10 more, possibly working up to 45 minutes or an hour!   

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” – LM Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

3. When you meet somebody in the store or on the street, do you quickly rush by them, thinking instead of everything you have to do on your list, rather than on the personal interaction you may have with that person?

I used to be that person, and still have a tendency to be that person from time to time.  Of course, there are times we aren’t able to stop and chat due to a scheduled appointment or obligation.  But how many opportunities to connect with someone else are missed when we just rush by someone we know and hope if we look busy enough, they won’t ask us any questions or want to stop and talk.  When I was this person, ironically, I envied people who would stop and chat and didn’t seem to know a stranger. Everybody was their friend! I wanted to be them, but meanwhile, I was whisking away here and there and rushing off to do this and that.  I now consciously try and stop and actually engage in a meaningful exchange with people I know when I see them.  

In the book, Tuesdays with Morrie,” by Mitch Albom, he quotes Morrie saying, 

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

4. Are you compelled by lists and love to add to and cross off tasks as you complete them?

I like lists. . . . or maybe, I like to create lists.  Then I set about getting busy with my day and, at the end of the day, when I re-examine my list, I find that I didn’t do anything on it!  So, I add what I did do just so I can cross it off! The lesson? The list didn’t control my day! Again, to be a productive adult, there are always times when we need a list to help us prioritize, especially when our schedule is packed.  But I think we need to remember who is in control of the list? Are we? Or are we letting the list control us? If our self worth and fulfillment all depends on whether or not we get through a list, we may need to re-evaluate the hold that the list has over us.  

5. Does it bring great satisfaction at the end of the day when you have gotten through a day with no “me” time or downtime?

Here again, we need to ask ourselves, who or what is in control of our day?  Do we feel satisfaction because we made it through a list and packed our day so full we had no time to reflect and be creative?  Or, would we feel better if we could look back on our day and assess the meaningful exchanges we had, the conversation that maybe helped someone through a rough patch, or the moment when we dared to let ourselves daydream. 

If you feel you are stuck in this addiction, give yourself permission to let go of what is controlling you. It’s okay if not everything on the list gets done. It will still be there tomorrow. If at the end of the day, you can instead assess the valuable interactions you had with others rather than the number of items you crossed off the list, I would say it was a successful day! If you took time to be creative, imaginative, playful, or quiet and mindful, I would say it was a successful day!  

“When I left Queen’s my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.”― Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

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